Things of note that have happened since my arrival in Moscow:
-An accidental (sort of) two-hour nap in the middle of the afternoon. Jet lag - HO!
-A small plastic bag floating and twirling on the air currents in our Metro car, causing the middle-aged woman sitting across from me to giggle and try to stomp on it.
Things of note that have not happened since my arrival in Moscow:
-Food. I could eat a horse.
It's weird to be back. I feel completely comfortable being in Russia, but at the same time, I still feel separation anxiety about a lot of things I left behind in the U.S. (i.e. my extremely comfortable American life). That'll go away soon, though. Just get some blini with tvorog in me and I'll be a-ok with Russia again.
On top of that, being back in Moscow brings back so many memories of last August's orientation here. I can remember exactly how I felt about myself and Russia and myself in Russia - "abject terror" seems the best way to describe it - and it's so completely unlike the way I feel now. So I'm doing exactly the same thing I did last year, but starting from (and going to) a different place, and it's all very cognitive dissonance-y. I'm not sure that's the right application of that term, not to mention its grammatical sketchiness, but it seems apt.
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An American's (former) life in Taganrog.
About Me
- Leslie
- Washington, DC, United States
- First a Fulbrighter, then a grad student in Eurasian, Russian and East European studies, now a footloose, fancy-free, unabashedly nerdy Eurasia "expert."
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4 comments:
Well-known feelings!
I remember, what I felt... when had returned in Russia from Germany (I was staying there about 10 months). I didn't speak Russian all 10 months and culture environment...
"Cognitive dissonance" is when your actions and your beliefs don't match. Generally you either have to modify said actions or beliefs to relieve the tension. So, for example, if you think of yourself as "the kind of person who would never live abroad", but you're moving to Russia, you either need to go home, or revise this impression of yourself.
-L
Ok! It's about "Cognitive dissonance", ya?
And could you term... If I believe myself as the kind of person, who can live in any country, just work and environment have to be interesting. More over, I have proofed it myself!
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